A Short, Funny Snapshot of My Life

Early Life

Jessica was born in Michigan, land of the five lakes. Her early endeavors were scribbling with crayons and drawing anime characters. She’d wake up early before school started to sit next to the window in the living room and play Pokemon and Smash Bros. As a result, she would grow up with a passion for creating art, story telling, video games.
(In other words, a nerd. This paragraph was a euphemism for nerd.)

Middle Life

After a grueling, painful, slow, terrible, agonizing, embarrassing, cringey middle school and high school experience, young adult Jessica finally burst free into the College World. Here, she challenged herself to meet people who were different from herself, explore student groups she normally would not, and discovered her love for computer science. It was during this time that she coined the term “progartist,” a combination of the two things she identifed with: programmer and artist. She also didn’t know that everything would go downhill from here (just kidding!).
(If you watch Arrested Development, click this for a funny video.. I had a funny, awesome conversation with a recruiter at Career Fair. My coined term, progartist, reminded the person of this episode of Arrest Development!)

Late Life

Currently under progress. Please check in later.

Euology

(Although we do not know of Jessica’s Late Life, we somehow know her end. I don’t know who is writing this, but here goes nothing…)

Jessica died at the ripe, smelly age of 99. While others wanted to age like wine, Jessica always told herself she wanted to age like stinky cheese, such as a Blue Cheese. A little gross to look at after a certain age, but full of personality and packs a punch. Her loved ones can attest that she was indeed a spunky old grandma.

She didn’t have a funeral procession. Instead, her last dying act was to sent her loved ones on a fun trip to a beautiful place, so they could celebrate her life and the impact she made on others. Also, Jessica would not have wanted her loved ones to be sad on the day of the completion of her life, even though death is generally sad. She wants them to be happy that they had such a wild ride together.

Dude, Seriously…?

Where’s Your Bio?

If that is your reaction, I totally understand.

For a snapshot of my life that is NOT funny, click on “RESUME” at the top left of this website!