I created a Discord bot called Bootyflake-Succer. The weird name is because I have a friend who told me that he consumed booty (this is a friendlier way of saying “He EaT aSs!”) and mentioned the word bootyflake. After that, I was like “I have to name my Discord robot Bootyflake-Succer to commemorate this brave, shameless individual. Keep on doing you, bud. You inspire me to be myself everyday because if you can confess to me that you consume booty there is no reason why I should be ashamed of being myself.

A gif of two scary humanoid sharks saying "Jawesome" and high-fiving eachother

Anyway, this robot is a “constant positive impulse emitter.” It’s supposed to brighten up your day when you’ve been hard at work or hardly working in Discord. It can tell you dad jokes to calm you down because you’ve been trying to fix this 1 bug for the past 3 hours. It can tell you encouraging and inspirational quotes to motivate you into action if you’ve been slacking off! It can even scolding you for using curse words!

Many other features are coming along. For instance, I want it to notify you of calendar events in a funny, encouraging way. Google Calendar will very factually tell you: “Doctor appointment @ 10AM”, which is fine and all. But sometimes we need that extra oomph!! in life, so Bootyflake-Succer will instead scream into the void that is your empty Discord channel: “!!! ALERT. Doctor appointment @ 10AM. GO GETCHA BOOTY EXAMINED. !!!” or something. It’s meant to spice up our lives and make us laugh. Because life is pain — Make jokes to get through it. Or make a robot to help you be funny for when you have no energy to :).

I created Bootyflake-Succer using Node.js and the discord.js wrapper. Creating Bootyflake-Succer has taught me a lot about Javascript, like how to make API calls with Javascript. I used Rails before to make API calls, but Javscript is different because you have fetch and await and eat ass— - I, I mean try and catch blocks. Starts profusely sweating all over myself in Starbucks I’ve learned to use Heroku even better because they have different dynos and even a place to hide your tokens so H@ck0rZ won’t getcha! Mostly it let me explore the beautiful crazy world that is APIs because did you know that a Chuck Norris API exists? This bot that started as a fun project has helped me become more productive, revealed technologies I didn’t even know existed, and showed me the world of bots.

Now… The long-awaited reveal!!!

To get your own copy of the current version of Bootyflake-Succer, head to my GitHub and clone it!

If you have never set up your own Discord bot, don’t be scurred. Simply Google how to add a bot to your Discord channel, experiment with running it locally with some simple commands (I also commented my code quite well so you should be able to follow along to that if you have a basic foundation in programming concepts), and see what you can do. After you’ve played around a bit with it locally, I suggest getting your bot on Heroku so it runs 24/7. And of course, have your programmer friends add your bot to their Discord channel so they can witness you bug-correcting it hahahahah!

Also, for people who are reading this and are probably like, “Wow, whut a freakin n00b! I have done way cooler!” Please leave a message and tell me what I should do next on my robot journey, or even just regular programming journey. I’m always impressed by how little I know compared to others and it’s fun because that means I will never ever ever get bored. Becomes bored one day, kills myself OwO Email me or something! :D Become internet friends with me.

See you later! :3